yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Never joke about your clitoris.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize