The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
