I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
the raccoons are back...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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