OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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