Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
