Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I think I just sharted jello shots
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