Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
