Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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