just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
