porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
