Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
