Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
lets start a swedish sibling band together
bring money and cleavage
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
