It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
