I can tuck mytits in my pants
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
