Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize