suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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