I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
