Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you had me at cake vodka
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
