Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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