This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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