the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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