If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
