My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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