whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
