dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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