he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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