the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
