If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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