I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
