he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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