Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How external is "for external use only"?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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