What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
