it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
