My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
