How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dear god my vagina.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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