why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
