Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
