dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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