if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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