I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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