i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize