Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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