I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
