I will die if light touches me.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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