My friends, they love my intelligence
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
