She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
