His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
