she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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