That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
