I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
