Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
