The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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