So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
