yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
