If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
