dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
