If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Randomize
