Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
