I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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