Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
