So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
