Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
