you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
