she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
