What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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